Sometimes, I kind of suck at being a girl.
I’m not exaggerating or putting myself down…my family has made fun of my lack of style and beauty know-how for years. My mom might have a heart attack if she found out I was writing a beauty blog.
It’s true – in the traditional sense, I’ve never been that good at being “girly,” which is mostly due to the fact that a lot of what is considered beautiful by society is weird, high-maintenance, and on many levels, damaging to women. No, thank you.
This post is 10 Reasons Why I Suck at Beauty Blogging – all the reasons some of my “real life” people would never believe I’d write something like Autumn on Fox Street. While these are 100% true, they’re also meant to be a bit silly. I like to laugh at myself and not take things too seriously. I don’t get down on myself for not following all the beauty trends and I am in no way judging how you express yourself as a woman, which I will get into at the end. Please take these with a grain of salt and a tablespoon of humor.
#1. I boycotted “girly” things for most of my adult life.
In high school, I spent an hour and a half each morning doing my hair and makeup for school. It was time-consuming and I had low self-esteem and no matter how much effort I put into it, by the end of the day, I always thought I looked ugly anyhow. Like I always tell people, you couldn’t pay me to be a teenager again.
When I hit my early 20’s, I stopped caring. I started wearing my hair natural and curly instead of straightening it. I stopped wearing makeup. I stopped shaving. I didn’t buy new clothes unless they came from a thrift store and condemned designers and the modeling industry (which I’ve never taken part in, but it seemed so detrimental to the people involved). Not only did I become the anti-girl, but I became very vocal about how stupid and superficial I thought beauty and fashion were.
A year ago, I had the pleasure of working with a fashion blogger as a virtual assistant. I kind of fell in love with what she was doing – it seemed fun, even if I thought fashion was frivolous. She had a way of writing things that were style-oriented, but touched on deeper things in life, like being a career woman and a mother. I started experimenting with makeup again and found out it was actually really fun to decorate my face, which led me down the path to this blog and my YouTube channel.
#2. I don’t do anything with my hair.
I hate doing my hair. I’ve tried every incarnation of not doing my hair – no-poo, cowashing, and my current routine, which is washing once week and conditioning 2-3 times a week, including a deep condition with coconut oil on Sunday nights.
My hair texture has changed from very curly to wavy over the last five years or so. It’s also been really long, pixie cut short, and is now in between. I don’t dye it or use product (other than my favorite seaberry serum from Obliphica – affiliate link). I don’t use a hair dryer, straightener, curling iron, or anything that applies heat and makes my hair dry and frizzy.
I’m about as low maintenance as humanly possible without shaving my head. Don’t think I haven’t thought about going the Sinead O’Connor route.
#3. I don’t shave my legs in the winter.
Now I have the excuse that I’m pregnant and can’t easily reach my legs, but it’s November. I stopped shaving a month ago and would have regardless of my growing belly. I just really despise shaving and keeping up with that all year round, so I take a break until shorts weather rolls around again.
#4. I refuse to use a number of popular beauty products.
My list of popular beauty products that don’t resonate with me (for a number of reasons), include brow products, bronzer, lip liner, and false eyelashes. Babes, you look good, but I just can’t be bothered.
#5. I’d rather not wear makeup at all (most days).
I work from home. That means that about 4 days out of 6, no one but the dogs and my husband see my face, and my husband carries serious makeup hatred anyway. Heck, some days I shower and change straight from one pair of pajamas into another. My legging and yoga pant collection is impressive!
As fun as it is to do videos and blog posts and selfies for Instagram, I go makeup-less way more often than I put on a full face of product.
#6. I’d rather hit the thrift shop than the mall.
Besides the fact that thrift stores are like treasure hunts and our small town mall sucks, I just can’t see the point in paying $30 for a shirt I could get for $6 at a thrift store. There are certain stores, like Forever 21, that I hit during sales, but I’m just as content in my secondhand jeans and a graphic tee as I am wearing anything cute and name brand.
#7. I’m cheap, really cheap.
Did I mention that I don’t want to pay full price for clothes, makeup, hair products…pretty much anything? I like affordable drug store brands, and when I buy my high-end stuff, it’s always on sale. I’m the queen of coupons, reward points, BOGOs and discounts. I waited 5 months to buy a highlighter palette because I thought $46 was an outrageous price to pay to make my face shiny.
Call me thrifty. Or sale savvy. Or just plain cheap.
#8. I don’t know my designers.
I’m not joking when I say that I couldn’t tell Ralph Lauren from something I picked up at Walmart unless I read a label. Wedding dress shopping with my mom was hysterical because she was going on and on about the amazing deal the shop was having on Maggie Sottero dresses, and I’m like “WTF is a Maggie Sottero?!” I didn’t own anything designer – ever – until a year ago when I won a Zappos gift card giveaway and splurged on a Sak bag and a pair of Steve Madden wedges. Most of the time I’m afraid to even say designer names out loud – I always screw them up.
I’m not saying designers aren’t talented, creative people. Now that I know Steve Madden shoes exist, I’m obsessed, but is the quality really worth the price? Probably not. (I bought those shoes on sale, by the way, even with a gift card.) If I like it and can afford it, I’m all about getting things I like, regardless of whose name is on them, but I’m not going to break the bank so I can say I bought Louboutin or Marc Jacobs (and yes, I had to look those up because I literally couldn’t think of a single designer without a Google search to jog my memory).
#9. I don’t want to be internet famous.
All beauty bloggers harbor the secret (or not-so-secret) desire to get giant PR packages, tons of social following, and maybe make some money at this. Who wouldn’t want their days filled with free Tarte palettes and adoring fans? I know I would.
But at the same time, I don’t want beauty blogging to be my full-time job. I don’t want to dabble in modeling. I have no interest in collaborating with beauty brands to create my own cosmetics line.
I love my virtual assistant business and designing websites and my other blogs too. My dreams are things like “have a farm,” “raise bilingual kids,” and “rehabilitate parrots with behavioral issues.” Makeup is fun for me, and if I can make some side money and meet cool people doing something that is fun, I’m all for it, but I don’t want to abandon my “real” life to be the next Jaclyn Hill or KathleenLights.
Small-time YouTuberdom is definitely my space.
#10. I’m not trendy. At all.
I like what I like. I like it whether it’s in or not. I like it even if I’m too young, too old, too last season or too off-the-wall to be in line with what everyone else is doing. I’m usually the last to know about something new and I’m the first person to admit that so many trends are lost on me.
Why It’s OK
Beauty is an amazing spectrum of expression. Women can fall anywhere they want on that spectrum – from no makeup every day and short, cropped hair to full-on bleach-blonde extensions, false lashes and stilettos – and still be beautiful. Would everyone in the world agree with me? No, of course not. But I want YOU to know, reading this blog, that wherever you fall on that spectrum…I think you’re gorgeous.
It’s about being comfortable in your own skin. We all have insecurities, but if, on a daily basis, you feel pretty good about who you are, how you look, and what you’re doing with your life, girl, don’t worry about what everyone else is doing!
To be honest, I’ve never felt sexier or more womanly than I do since I got pregnant. I love this belly. My butt and boobs are huge. Maternity clothes suit me both on an aesthetic and a practical level. I feel sexier now than I did when I was 19 and weighed 120lbs. I feel more secure, more feminine, and more adored by my husband. I am in my element right now.
(As I write this at 2:30 AM with my feet and legs so swollen it hurts to lie down in bed…I could stand to lose the discomfort though!)
Will I still feel awesome and beautiful and empowered after I have my baby? No idea. But the point is, it’s OK to be a woman however you want to be a woman and that’s what I’m going to tell myself, whether I feel fantastic or frumpy after giving birth.
Be a girly, pink, pastel woman. Be an edgy, punky woman. A smart, nerdy woman. Athletic and strong. A curvy goddess. Androgynous. Unshaven. Gray-haired. No-haired. Fat, thin, or in between.
I remember reading and seeing A Little Princess when I was a little girl, one of the main messages of which is, “All women are princesses.” That has stuck with me my whole life in a society that likes to gossip about every inch of a woman’s body and judge every choice in her career, family, and personal life.
Be the princess you are, no matter what you like, what you look like, or what other people say. Look in the mirror and celebrate just how beautiful and capable you are.